8 Proven Ways to Turn Difficult Employees into Your Greatest Allies

Difficult employees are everywhere. As a manager, you certainly have at least one or two difficult employees in your team. Ability to deal with these employees separates a good manager from a mediocre one. 

When dealing with problematic team members, it’s better to address it earlier than later because these behaviors, if ignored, can disrupt teamwork, hurt productivity and reduce team morale. 

According to a report by CPP Global, workplace disputes and personality clashes consume approximately 2.8 hours per employee per week—a staggering productivity drain that directly impacts your bottom line.

Whether it’s a bad attitude or poor performance, you’re left wondering how to turn things around. The good news is – every employee has potential. With the right approach, you can transform tough situations into success stories.  

Ready to lead? Keep reading!

1. Start with Understanding, Not Judgment

Difficult behavior often comes from needs or stress that are not met. Managers should pay attention to  the actions, not the person, to find solutions.

Why people behave “difficulty” at work

People tend to act difficult when they are facing stress, poor communication, and resistance to change. As a result, they underperform or slack at work. 

Negative behaviors can also stem from unclear expectations in their work. They may be confused when performing tasks due to weak communication. 

How to observe behaviors without labeling the person

Managers should start focusing on actions, not personalities. For example, when an employee is constantly missing a deadline or underperforming at work, you should find out the root cause of the problem instead of labelling it as “lazy” or “unreliable”. 

Nonverbal cues like body language or tone during conversations can also reveal the problems that difficult employees may be facing. For example, if they avoid eye contact, this suggests insecurity, shame or hiding something. Or an employee who is unusually quiet may be dealing with personal issues. 

Keep your mind open and pay attention to patterns rather than isolated incidents; this avoids unfair judgment and helps you see the real problem behind their behavior.

Simple techniques for separating the person from the problem

It’s easier to address issues when managers understand behaviors without judgement. Here are simple techniques to separate the person from the problem:

1. Define the issue clearly. Many managers use vague statements like “bad attitude” when trying to address the issue. This is not effective. Instead, you should describe specific actions or behaviors causing problems to keep emotions out of it.
2. Use neutral language. What you say matters—choose words that don’t sound accusatory or personal. As mentioned earlier, it’s best to observe the behaviors and speak to the employee about what you have observed rather than assumptions.
3. Shift perspective with questions. Ask yourself what causes their negative attitude? Are there external factors influencing behaviors such as stressors or unmet needs?
4. Separate facts from feelings. Stick to what you can see and measure at work rather than relying on personal judgement and interpretations.
5. Address their role, not personality traits. Center discussions around how actions affect team goals or processes instead of labeling them as “difficult.”
6. Stay focused on solutions during meetings or feedback sessions by avoiding emotional reactions—work toward resolutions together calmly.

2. Listen More Than You Speak

A study found that 41% of employees have left a job because they felt they weren’t listened to. This shows that lack of listening can hurt employees’ motivation, erode trust and lead to undesirable behaviors.

The power of truly hearing someone out

Employees feel they are valued when they know their voices are heard. They are also more cooperative and respectful when they know their feedback is being acted upon. This in turn will help reduce friction in the workplace, transforming strained relationships into collaborative ones.

 To understand why difficult employees behave in certain ways, you should use active listening to improve communication. Here are active listening techniques anyone can use: 

1. Listening carefully to the speaker. Show your focus by avoiding distractions like emails or phones, and face them directly.
2. Don’t forget to use eye contact. This simple but powerful act is a great way to signal engagement. This makes the person feel respected and understood.Repeat what they say to confirm understanding in your own words like: “You mean this project feels rushed, right?”
3. Dig deeper into their thoughts or feelings by asking open-ended questions, such as “What do you think would help?”
4. Don’t interrupt when they speak. Let them finish before responding—this shows that you respect their opinions. 
5. Observe nonverbal cues such as their tone and body language. This can reveal hidden emotions, like uncertainty or frustration, that words might miss. 
6. Adjust your attitude by staying calm even if they seem upset—it helps ease the tension quickly.
7. Validate their thoughts by saying phrases like “I understand where you’re coming from.” This helps reduce defensiveness instantly.
8. End with a plan or next steps based on what was shared–clarity keeps things productive moving forward.

3. Find Their Hidden Strengths

Difficult employees often have valuable skills. These might include critical thinking, deep subject matter expertise,  or a unique perspective others miss. You can spot these strengths by watching their actions and asking questions about what tasks make them feel confident.

Data from Gallup reveals that employees who learn their strengths are 7.8% more productive than those who have no idea where their strength lies. This shows that strength identification is a worthwhile investment, especially with challenging team members.

There are abilities they may not show in daily tasks. Therefore, managers are encouraged to assign new responsibilities to uncover their hidden talents. Don’t just focus on their current performance but also pay attention to their potential—what they could excel at with the right opportunity.

This approach helps align their talents with work that benefits everyone.

Matching strengths to appropriate tasks

Spotting hidden skills is just the beginning. Managers need to find or create opportunities to use those strengths so that employees can perform at a higher level.

For example, a detail-oriented employee might excel in data analysis or quality control. An outspoken team member who challenges ideas in meetings can take part in project planning to identify potential risks early.

4. Set Clear Expectations Together

When managers and employees don’t set clear expectations together, misunderstandings arise, confusion spreads leading to workplace tension.

Here are steps to avoid this from happening in first place:

Step 1: Define roles and responsibilities early. This will help employees to understand what are their most important tasks and don’t waste time on less important tasks. For example, if you are managing writers, they need to know how many blog posts/articles they need to write per month and they are not expected to handle social media scheduling or analytics reporting. 

Step 2: Working together to agree on success metrics. Managers and employees need to cooperate to define success to ensure their goals are aligned. Research also shows when employees take part in setting goals, they become more accountable towards their goals and more committed to achieve them than when goals and metrics are simply imposed from above. This approach also ensures fairness as the metrics are agreed upon by them.

Step 3: Writing agreements down. Don’t let the conversation go to thin air. It’s important to document everything down to avoid conflict later. When misunderstandings arise, both parties can refer to the written agreement and quickly resolve disputes based on what was actually decided rather than relying on vague memories. 

5. Give Regular, Balanced Feedback

Nobody is perfect – even the best performer has something to improve. Therefore, feedback is important to keep everyone on track. Don’t wait until quarterly or annual review to give feedback, managers are encouraged to give regular feedback to promote growth and improvements as well as addressing the issues before they escalate. 

Research shows that 43% of highly engaged workers receive feedback at least once per week. This connection between regular feedback and engagement isn’t coincidental—it demonstrates how consistent communication drives better performance and commitment.

Ongoing feedback also builds trust and strengthens relationships. It keeps communication open between you and your team. Organizations that use continuous feedback see more consistent results because employees feel guided—not blindsided—when adjustments are needed.

Feedback doesn’t mean managers only give criticism about work performance. Managers need to balance negative feedback with positive ones as well. When employees perform well, you need to acknowledge and recognize their efforts to reinforce positive behaviors. 

The “praise in public, correct in private” approach

Who doesn’t love compliments – especially in public? 

Boosts employees’ morale and reinforces good behavior by praising them publicly during team meetings or in team emails. 

This simple act can inspire others to perform better too.

When it comes to addressing issues, managers should do it privately to maintain respect and trust. Nobody wants to feel embarrassed in front of other colleagues.

Simple feedback formulas anyone can use

Simple feedback can change difficult behaviors at work. Use these easy formulas to make feedback clear and effective.

1. Start with a “What + Why” format.
   Say what the problem is and why it matters. For example: “You didn’t handle that client well last month, which made them cancel our service.” This focuses on facts, not feelings.
2. Follow with the “Praise-Correct-Praise” method.
   Highlight a strength first: “You usually do well at presentations” Then address the issue: “This time, there was some information missing in your presentation.” End on a positive note: “I know you’ll do well next time.”
3. Use “Situation-Behavior-Impact” (SBI).
   Describe the situation: “During yesterday’s meeting…” Mention their behavior: “…you interrupted others several times…” Show how it impacted others: “…this made your teammates feel unheard.” This keeps things objective and fair.
4. Make feedback timely and frequent.
   Don’t wait for reviews to share input. A study shows 43% of highly engaged teams get regular feedback while under-performing ones don’t. 
5. Ask for their perspective after sharing feedback.
   Say, “How do you feel about what I said?” Feedback works best as a dialogue—it builds respect and trust while fixing issues faster.

Start using these techniques regularly to improve relationships as you guide employees toward clear expectations together!

6. Create Opportunities for Wins

Do you have a struggling employee in your team? If yes, you will notice that he/she often feels less confident and is perceived as incapable by other team members. 

To help them succeed, it’s important to create small wins so that they can have a sense of achievement, boost their self-confidence and change others’ perceptions about them.

Setting up small victories builds confidence

You can start giving them small, clear tasks they can handle easily. For example, assign a project that matches their strengths—like leading a team meeting or improving one process.

Don’t forget to celebrate these wins in meetings or emails to others to show you value and recognize their efforts. This validation keeps motivation high and prevents frustration from creeping in. Each small victory leads to bigger contributions and better performance. 

How success changes difficult behaviors

Success breeds confidence, which enables more success. When employees achieve small, short-term wins, they will be more motivated and more open to change. When you praise them publicly, they will feel valued, hence reducing resistance.

7. Involve Them in Finding Solutions

When an issue arises, the person-in-change is the one who knows their challenges best. To build trust and ownership, involve them in solving problems and let them share their ideas.

The ownership that comes from problem-solving

Difficult employees will have a sense of control when asked to give input during problem solving sessions. Use simple techniques like mind mapping or lists to capture ideas.

This approach helps them feel valued and builds accountability.

Managers should be there to guide the process instead of taking over. Encourage them to provide solutions, even if small at first. Giving them a sense of ownership motivates them to follow through and improves their attitude toward teamwork. 

8. Recognize Progress Consistently

When difficult employees make progress, many managers ignore it and think that employees are supposed to perform well anyway. Well, that’s not true. Ignoring their efforts will lead to disappointment and push employees back to problematic behaviors. 

Managers should instead acknowledge progress to keep motivation alive. Small gestures, like a quick thank-you or a nod, can make a big difference.

Try different ways to recognize progress. Highlight small wins in meetings or send a quick email of gratitude. These actions build confidence and improve attitudes over time. Even small improvements deserve recognition; it shows you’re paying attention and care about their growth.

Here are different ways to show appreciation

1. Thank them in meetings—praise increases engagement and boosts confidence. 
2. Send a handwritten note—it feels personal and memorable.
3. Celebrate work anniversaries—it shows you value their commitment.
4. Recognize achievements publicly—highlight problem-solving or quality results in emails or meetings.
5. Offer small, personalized rewards—give gift cards, time off, or team lunches based on preferences.
6. Acknowledge personal milestones—congratulate births, weddings, or graduations to build connection.
7. Use employee recognition programs—these improve retention and morale over time.

Rewards show effort matters, helping challenging employees shift behaviors positively.

Be Patient But Persistent

It takes time to build relationships with difficult employees. You can’t expect significant changes in weeks or even months. Trust often grows slowly, especially when past conflicts exist.

Difficult employees will see you as more reliable when you’re patient and consistent in your actions. 

Focus on small improvements first. Acknowledge every positive step they take, no matter how minor it seems. Keep boundaries clear while working toward better communication and respect.

Over time, persistence will lead to stronger bonds and smoother teamwork.

Conclusion

Turning a difficult employee into an ally is achievable. Start with empathy and clear communication. Small steps, like listening and giving feedback, can bring big changes. These strategies are simple to apply but make a powerful impact on your team’s success.

When you focus on strengths and set shared goals, relationships improve fast. Encourage progress, stay consistent, and trust the process—it works over time. Take action now to build a stronger, more connected workplace!